Aed jokes
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. 😂😂😂😂
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.
The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"
The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.
Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵
He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
There's a blind hooker in town.
She never sees anyone coming.
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.
Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!
Everyone give this joke a thumb's down and see if it can become the worst rated joke on the site.
What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business!