Aed jokes

Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"

Not Stephen Hawking.

A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.

When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!

I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."

it was just a prank bro.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?

"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"

Stephen Hawking doesn't go for a stroll. He goes for a roll.

I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.

If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.

At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.

Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.

I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."

The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.

One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said, "You should be proud of your sister." I asked why. They told me it was the best that they ever had, and we got your sister a trophy.

So I went home, my sister said, "Look at my trophy I earned." The trophy said "The Best Blow Jobs." As a bro, I couldn’t be more prouder.

Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?

A: To find his dad.

This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣

Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.

If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.

I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.

Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.

What color is Stephen Hawking's house?

It's a bungalow.

Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.

On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.