Aed jokes
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
Credit to omnom.
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
"What did we hit?"
"I don't know, a rock."
What's a shark's favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?
Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."
it was just a prank bro.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"