Aed jokes
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."
When we told Twin Towers to put on airplane mode, we didn't mean a real airplane.
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
What do you call a house with no one living inside?
An orphan house.
It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually came back.
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.
A: Do you eat food?
B: Yes...
A: You can sit on deez nuts then!
B: Omg I have depression now.
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
Your mom was born in a dumpster, as well as you.
Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
Yo yo yo, I’m a dinosaur, rawr! And my Snapchat is s4r1m-007 for more amazing jokes.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
One day Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigar. Johnny said, "Can I have a puff?"
Grandpa said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."
Later that day, Johnny saw his grandpa drinking a drink. Johnny said, "Can I have a sip?"
Grandpa said the same thing, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."
Later that night, Johnny was eating some cookies in the kitchen. Grandpa said, "Hi son, can I have a cookie?"
Johnny said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Grandpa said, "Yes."
Johnny said, "Good, go fuck yourself!"
What is an orphan's favorite superhero? Batman.
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.