Aed jokes
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
Bro, WW2 was just a joke.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
What is wrong with orphans' phones?
They'll never have a home screen.
Why did orphans play Poppy Playtime?
To get a family.
Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.
So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."
"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"