Aed jokes
My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.
Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
I told a joke at a funeral, but no one laughed. One mf was ded though💀.
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?
A: Go kill yourself!
Sorry for this Pick Up Line.
Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.
Yo momma's so stupid, her family tree is a telephone pole.
1, 2, 3, A, B, C, D, and there's a D in it and there's also a 3. That's how long your D is!
"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.
"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.
3 Years Later,
"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
What’s the best part of violently raping a sexy 10-year-old girl? Killing the little bitch afterwards.
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"