Aed jokes
What’s the difference between Hitler and a bug?
Nothing.
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
No one gives a fuck.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
Guys, this is so disrespectful, I love Jesus. I go to church every Tuesday morning to give Jesus a... giffffffft.
So disrespectful guys. #jesusismyhubby
Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.
First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”
Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”
Never challenge death to a pillow fight.
Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.
An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
Today there was a line to punch me.
Yeah, that was the punch line.
I heard China aborts 25% of female babies. That's a lot of dead 3-year-old gender-affirmed girls.
If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
Why can't an orphan live peacefully?
Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.