Aed jokes
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?
Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.
After a while, a student stands up.
Teacher: So you think you are stupid?
Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.
Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.
Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!
So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"
I poo 11 times a day.
What did the plane say to the tower?
"Give me a kiss."
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.
I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.
It gave me a discount!
I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
I always use chloroform when stealing a child.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
What would you rather be, emo or handicapped?
Trick question, emo is a handicap.
Why did the emo kid cross the road? To get a box of tissues!