Aed jokes

It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.

You will never see a redneck opposing a war.

He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"

Why did the orphan cross the road?

So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.

Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.

You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.

Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.

What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?

cornhub.com

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!

My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.

You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.

Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.

Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.

What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.

You're so ugly, even a Snapchat filter can't fix it.

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.