Aed jokes
Not a joke.
Any girls looking for a steamy hot man?
You should watch Ryan ToysReview because he's not mean; he's a very nice boy.
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
A man was in a courtroom. The judge said, "What should this man's punishment be?"
A random guy yelled, "Off with his head!"
The judge said, "He shall give head to every man in this room."
The guy yelled, "Wait, that's not what I said!"
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.
Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.
Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"
The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.