Aed jokes
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.
She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”
“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.
“Exactly,” replied the mom.
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
They don’t want to be mistaken for a feminist.
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.