Aed jokes

What’s an autistic person's favorite movie:

A Quiet Place?

What's the difference between you and a Barbie? There is no difference. Both of your faces are fake.

You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.

What do you call a white man that’s blind?

Asian eyes.

What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?

At least the mountain has two hills.

Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?

Black ops.

My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.

A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...

"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"

Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."

"Oh, right. How's it going?"

"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."

"Wow! What about NATO?"

"They haven't turned up yet."

So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.

What do you call a person with a flip flop?

My dad.

One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.

What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.

What do you call a deep diver? A DeepWoken player.

What do you call a fast boat?

Usain Boat.

What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.

What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?

"Can you show me what rape is?"

What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?

"I don't get it."

The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.