Aed jokes
Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
American: I've never shot a gun.
African: That's the first coming from an American!
Did you hear he died of a virus? A computer virus.
What's the best thing about having sex with a 26-year-old?
There's 20 of them.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
BOB: Wanna know a joke?
LILLY: What? Your hat?
BOB: No, my life :'(
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"
Who needs storage on a computer? Just use an Asian's brain.
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
One day a boy asks his grandfather for some money, and the grandpa says, “Well, can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy replied, “No.” So the grandpa says, “Okay,” and leaves it at that and walks off.
A few years later, the boy asks his grandfather for some money again, and his grandfather once again asks, “Can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy proudly says, “Yes, it can.” To which the grandpa says, “Good, now go fuck yourself.”
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."