Aed jokes
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
How did Steven Hawking die?
His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
I once had a trash can as a girlfriend.
I was ready to break up with her, but all she had to say was, "Please don't dump me!" Then I said, "Sorry, I'm ready to take out the trash."
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?
Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."