Aed jokes
Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!
One apple a day keeps the doctor away; not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.
An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"
His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.
He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"
"MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"
"I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."
There were three guys stranded on a desert island. Each was granted one wish by a genie that found them. The first guy said, "I wish to go back home." The second guy says the same, and the third guy said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
A man (Ameenya Sheed) texts another man (Bob) and said,
"Hi, I'm Ameenya Sheed."
Bob: "You're not in my shed because I don't have one, but I have a garage. I don't think you're in there."
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.
He asked for a shot of beer?
He got shot and killed.
I went to a seafood shop.
I pulled a muscle.
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.