Aed jokes
I’ve two dogs and two cats, and they are all Democrats. They want a handout everyday.
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH.
Why did the Duck go to rehab?
Because he was a Quackhead.
The Homo Sexual was a direct descendant of the Homo Genital Erectus, which went extinct in 2037 for being easily offended and its unwillingness to breed.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
— Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?
— No.
— That's the spirit!
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
Hey, look, it's Bai! (insert the picture of a Bai drink)
What did the explorer say when he got tired?
I'm gonna take a map.
When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!
What do you call a bad "egg" meme?
Deep fried!
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."
The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"
The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
What do you call a blonde?
A piss-head.
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.