Aed jokes
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
So I'm a cow, guess what my dad thinks of that? He says I'm a loooosmer.
Why does the sun get a lot of girls? Because it's hot.
An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.
The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.
The man asks, "Is it your first time?"
The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!
Joke: What do you call a gay alligator detective?
Answer: An Investigator
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
Son: Hey, Dad, why is my name Dick?
Dad: Oh, because a dick fell on you when you were born.
Son: Ohhhhh, so that's why I'm gay.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
A group of friends went outside to pick up stuff. One of the friends said, "It is windy as heck out!"