Aed jokes
Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but,
bin there, done that.
Two nuns in a bath.
Stephen Hawking died because he did a wheelie and unplugged his charger.
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
Why did Anna give Carson a blowjob?
He made her.
Orphan: I want to be a relator.
Teacher: Why?
Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He blew a fuse doing an update.
Craig Duncan is a child soldier with bad breath and has killed 5 people (on Fortnite).
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.
Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.