What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? – Use a news anchor.
What do skeletons hate the most about wind? Nothing, it goes right through them.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? You are the wind beneath my wings
Two windmills were standing in a wind farm, one asked whats your favorite type of music, the other one replied… IM A BIG METAL FAN
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!
Why did the tornado 🌪 take a break?
Because it ran out of wind! 💨😂
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, “I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert.”
The blonde thinks, “I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him.”
The Frenchman thinks, “I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.”
The Englishman thinks, “I can’t wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again.”
what did the tree say to the wind?
leaf me alone
heres a list of puns not all of them are mine
1.Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
2.Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5.Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6.Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7.Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8.How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9.That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10.My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
You don’t usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days. But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: “Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!”
3 blonde girls are on an isalnd and they are much to far away from land to swim, they find a genie on the island who offers them each 1 wish the first girl says “I wish I was smart enough to get off this island” so the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island. The next girl says “I wish I was even smarter then her so I don’t have to do so much manual labor” so she turns into a brunet and makes a sail boat and lets the wind take her off the island. The finale girl says “I wish I was smarter then both of them!” So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards? DON’T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
The streets go blank in the dead of the day not a car to be seen A kingdom of corona-cation and it looks like moms the queen The wind is howling with this virus in the air Couldn’t keep it in china everyone knows it’s everywhere Don’t let friends in don’t be afraid Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal don’t feel your insanity That the virus caused!! Don’t let it go! Don’t let it go! You have to hold it back a little more! Don’t let it go! Don’t let it go! Turn away and slam your doors! I don’t care what the government says! Let me go to my friends house Sickness doesn’t get to me anyway. It’s funny how some distance makes everyone insane And the fears that once controlled me are here and present oh well! It’s time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through! No right no wrong but stay inside! WERE NOT FREEEE!! Don’t let it go! Don’t let it go! Be one with the peace inside!! Don’t let it go! Don’t let it go! Watch sad movies and cry!! Here I stand!! And here I’ll stay!! Cause I have nothing better to do The virus flurries through the air into my house! The storm is spiraling fear and fractals all around!! And one thought makes you wanna scream and shout out loud!! What if we never go back? What if the past is in the past??? DONT LET IT GO DONT LET IT GO!! And you’ll rise at the break of noon! DONT LET IT GO DONT LET IT GO!! That’s morning girl is gone!! HERE I STAND IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT CAUSE THATS WHEN I WOKE UP!! Let the virus rage on!!! The sickness never gets to me anyway. DING.
The winds of Uranus go on and off so you could say the wind is broken.
Two wind turbines are standing in a field. One asks, "What’s your favorite type of music?" The other says, “Well…I’m a huge metal fan…”
What song was played at the flatulent centenarian’s birthday? Candle in the Wind!!
(only Ninjago fans understand XD) if you look outside, and its really windy, its really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish… you better run, cause it has to be Morro! XD
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread waiting for a traffic jam
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it
Died with his boots on because he didn’t want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket