Aed jokes

What do you call a crackhead with no crack?

Pointless.

I'll try not to post jokes about disabled people anymore.

I shouldn't kick a guy when he's Down's.

Everyone is so sensitive about racial issues these days.

All I did was burn a couple crosses and I'm up on federal hate crime charges.

How does someone with Down's Syndrome vote?

Through a special ballot.

Must have been a woman pilot.

How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.

I'm ashamed of some of the jokes I told that mocked disabled people.

So I threw in a couple racist ones to even it out.

What's the best part about getting a lap dance from an Asian woman?

Her eyes are so narrow that she can't see if you don't pay her.

If I cut my wrist, am I a zebra or a tiger?

I told my boyfriend one time when I was drunk that I like being raped. The next day, he comes over and says, "Want to have sex?" I said no. He was arrested two days later.

What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Why can't an orphan ever play baseball?

Because they never found home.

What does Chainsaw Man's chainsaw say as he chases a black person?

"Runnnnigernigernigerniger..."

My boyfriend said if I kiss him, I'll get lucky. I fell down a flight of stairs.

Michael J. Fox goes in to get a haircut. He comes out missing an ear.

Michael J. Fox walks into the grocery store to buy some salt. When he comes out, a kid turns to his mother and says, "Look mom, a salt shaker!"

James Bond walks into a saloon where Michael J. Fox is tending bar. He says, "I’ll have a martini, shaken, not stirred."

Michael turns to him and says, "How else would I serve it?"

Why is America so good at Rubik's cubes?

They have a history of sorting colours.

You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

I went on holiday to the coast the other day, and I saw a shark.

I was alright, but I don't think my feet were.