Aed jokes
Q: How many aborted babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends on how hard you throw them.
I whopped my daughter's butt because she doesn't listen.
I now have a court date for child abuse and crimes against a deaf person.
I was watching the news and heard a segment about a blind hooker who got stabbed 40 times.
At least she didn't see it coming.
Q: What is Michael Jackson's favourite vegetable?
A: The special ed. kid down the street.
If an orphan gets a girlfriend, they finally have someone to love them.
Q: What's a hooker's favourite SpongeBob episode?
A: Rock Bottom.
How do you know an orphan is telling the truth?
When they swear on their mother's grave!
What starts with T, ends with T, and has T in it?
A teapot.
Why is Europe like a frying pan?
Because it has Greece at the bottom.
Q. What do you call a baby born six months early?
A. A miscarriage.
What do you call a masculine lesbian who smokes weed?
A stoned butch.
Yo mama so short, Super Mario mistook her for a Goomba and jumped on her head.
Q: What do you call a hot lesbian who smokes weed?
A: A high femme.
If you eat pussy, and if you are what you eat, does that mean eating pussy makes you a pussy?
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and your mom?
A suicide bomber doesn't abort their mission like your mom did when she had you.
A man walks into a bar and places a 12-inch man onto the counter as well as a small piano. The 12-inch man starts playing the piano really well.
The bartender asks the man where he got the 12-inch man. The man says there is a genie two blocks around the corner.
The bartender runs to the genie and makes a wish. The bartender comes back with 1 million ducks. The bartender says to the man, "That genie is dumb! I asked for 1 million bucks."
The man says, "Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"
How do you keep a blind person entertained? Give them a piece of sandpaper and tell them it’s a word.
What’s the best way to stop diarrhea in India?
With a butt plug.
How many Indians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and wait for the British to come and do it.
What does a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both scrape the cheese out of the box for a nice snack.