Aed jokes
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What's the difference between my father and acne?
Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
You're built like a Windows touchscreen!
What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?
He breaks his nose.
Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?
A. To organize his thots.
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
Kid 1: "It's a bird!"
Kid 2: "It's a plane!"
Me: "It's a terrorist!"
What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?
"We’ve got a runner!"
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
What do you call a white man that can dance?
A faggot.
Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."
What do you call a retarded Mexican?
Ricardo.
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.