Aed jokes
What would Patrick be if he was a dumbass and an autistic person?
A dumbism star.
What do you call an autistic person who is a dumbass? A dumbism.
What’s another name for a woman giving birth?
Unloading the dishwasher.
Yo momma so ugly, she got a job ringing the bells at Notre Dame.
What do you call a lesbian vampire?
Cunt Dracula.
What is the difference between a prostitute and a wife?
A prostitute will fulfill your needs with your money; a wife will fulfill her needs with your money.
Why was nine scared of ten?
Because five was a registered twelve offender.
Wait, can I try the joke again?
What do you call a sick Asian?
A calculator with dead batteries.
I saw a Down syndrome kid waving at me today, but there's no way I'm swimming all the way over there to save him.
"Eugheugh," said the boy.
Teacher: "What's your name?"
Student: "Hang on a second."
10 seconds later:
Teacher: "Is something wrong?"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
20 seconds later:
Teacher: "Don't say a word!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Teacher: "Come here and tell me your name right now!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't call for help!!!"
Student: "Just listen to me!"
Teacher: "Go on, speak!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't push my patience; this is no joke!!! Tell me your name right now!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
The professor said, "I think this question raises a few problems."
The student replied, "That is not a question; that is an answer."
What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?
They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.
I have a 12-inch destroyer.
A German, a Swiss, and a Russian make a bet: whoever has the most forest area in their country wins about 10,000 euros.
First, they fly over Switzerland: 8,000 square kilometers of forest. The German starts getting cold feet, as he doesn't think he'll win. Next, they fly over Russia: 50,000 square kilometers of forest. The German realizes he doesn't stand a chance unless he cheats.
When they fly over Germany, they see 10,000 square kilometers of forest. The German seems to have won, but then the Swiss shouts: "That's a tree!" The German was accused of fraud.
The German is furious. He calls the head of the Bundeswehr: "Why did the tree move?!" The boss said, "I'll put the guy who moved on the line," and passed the receiver over.
"Why did you move?" the German asked.
The young man replied: "Okay, when a dog came along and peed on my trunk, that was still fine. But then a bear came along and rubbed against my trunk..."
Trump keeps calling people "nasty", "failing", and "disgusting".
Doesn't he own a mirror?
Q. What's a compulsive masturbator's favourite food?
A. Jackfruit
What do sped gymnasts wear?
A Reotard.
Q. What do iPads and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
A. Kids turn them on.
Today is Elder Abuse Awareness Day.
Unfortunately, they're still not giving lessons on how to beat an annoying Alzheimer's patient without leaving a mark.
I forgot to tell Alicia I saw her mom a couple days ago.
In a porn video!