Aed jokes
What do you call a robot that feels like the opposite gender?
A transformer.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Mountain Dew was a real mountain.
When there's a news story of people who have died en masse, for example from explosions and fires.
Other people are all "oh no that's terrible!"
Pfft shut up, lying asshole. Trying to be "nice".
I'm like "YAY EXCITING. I don't like being bored hearing 'good news' all of the time."
What's the difference between Christianity and Scientology?
One is accepted as a cult by most people and the other has most people brainwashed.
What's the difference between a Christian and a schizophrenic?
Nothing.
What do you get when you combine Michael J. Fox and a cow?
A milkshake.
Pretend you're an orphan and I'm telling you a joke:
Your mom.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
None, they both eat out.
How do you stop a gang of black men from raping a white girl?
Throw them a basketball.
How Bibi celebrates Valentine's Day:
“I want to nutinyahu.”
“I’d blow up a school for you.”
“Can I be your ‘chosen person?’ 👉👈”
“I wanna bibi inside yo pp.”
Tung tung tung sahur. Three tungs when you say his name? So many tungs I oughta call you a polyglot.
How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?
None, he fell.
Need a sock puppet for a joke.
"Hey Soccy?" "What?" "Where do you come from?" "The laundry bin... I don’t wanna talk about it!" 🤣
What's the difference between parking a car and finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody finds out.
(Teacher): "What's one sport you want to do, but you're not good at?"
(Me): "Suicide."
What do me, emos, and Monster cans have in common?
A barcode.
According to Michael J. Fox, rumors of a "Back to the Future" part 4 are a little shaky.
A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"
"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"
I showed my family a few Charlie Kirk debates.
They called him a pain in the neck.
OK, bye.
My sister saved a guy from suicide last week.
She was hiking and the guy was on the ridge of a high, narrow cliff. She talked him down, but I think he was just being edgy.