Advertising jokes

What language do billboards speak?

Sign language.

What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"

Why do midgets work at Tesco?

Because every little helps.

Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?

Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.

Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?

Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!

Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.

Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?

Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......

Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."

Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.

KFC doesn’t use toilet paper because it is finger lickin' good!

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New Windex ad:

You should get Windex for that dirty mind!

Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.

We must start a propaganda for baked beans.

When you try to close a Google ad because it was covering content, but it was covered by "Ad closed by Google."

Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.

If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?

I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.

I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."

Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?

Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.

I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.