Advertising jokes

I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'

Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because KFC was offering free seeds.

I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.

We must start a propaganda for baked beans.

Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!

And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*

Buy KFC = 1 dead orphan in your house.

Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.

Your forehead is so big someone thought it was a billboard.

Your forehead is so big I could sell advertising space by the mile on it.

What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"

What language do billboards speak?

Sign language.

Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!

Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."

Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.

Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.

What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?

Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?

New Windex ad:

You should get Windex for that dirty mind!

Your forehead is so big that it was used as a billboard.

Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?

Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.

Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?

Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!

Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.

Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?

Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......