You're an alcoholic!
Addiction Jokes
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
Don't give emos crack, they're high enough.
Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.
A man walks into an AA meeting and asks for a roadmap.
This is how I got [redacted]
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
you.
I'm a recovering cake addict.
Pussy = drugs.
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Congratulations to Avicii for passing his 3-day milestone of sobriety!
What did rapper Pop Smoke get high off of? Cigarettes with Pop and Smoke.
Why did the Duck go to rehab?
Because he was a Quackhead.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa.
Eating sugar?
Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.
Smoking? Telling lies?
Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t do drugs.
