Addiction jokes
Some guy was mad at his ex-wife! So he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk.
And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 馃 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.
Me- what I think fck what I do 馃槶.
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
Why couldn鈥檛 the booty stay calm?
Because it was on crack.
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
Don't give emos crack, they're high enough.
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
How do you know if you鈥檝e walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
You're an alcoholic!
Why should you shoot a homeless crackhead in the head?
Because they're basically zombies.
You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.
This is how I got [redacted]
Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.
A man walks into an AA meeting and asks for a roadmap.
What was David Bowie鈥檚 last hit?
Probably heroin.
you.
I'm a recovering cake addict.
Pussy = drugs.