What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine
friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! i'll be in court.
You do 1 line, you're not a crack head You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic But I murder 1 person...
White girl : So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight? Me holding a rock of meth : YES!!!
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator? He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme? I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out
What do you call a religious drug addict? A crystal methodist.
why cant you say hi to a drug addict?They'll say yea
The Drunk and a priest
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
