Addiction jokes
I tried to rape Amy Winehouse, but she said, "No! No! No!"
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.
I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Why couldn’t the booty stay calm?
Because it was on crack.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
Don't give emos crack, they're high enough.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
This is how I got [redacted]