Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Why couldn’t the booty stay calm?
Because it was on crack.
Don't give emos crack, they're high enough.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
This is how I got [redacted]
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.