Addiction jokes

What song did Whitney Houston listen to while doing cocaine?

"Run It!" by Chris Brown.

What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.

How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.

We found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than my dad.

Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.

A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.

Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).

Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.

Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.

Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.

Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.

MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.

LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.

Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.

Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?

Because he's too high.

I tried to rape Amy Winehouse, but she said, "No! No! No!"

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.

Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.

I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.

Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.

I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!

Why didn't the child go to school?

Because he died of a heroin overdose.

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

Why do dwarfs do drugs?

To get high.

What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?

They are both legless.

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Why couldn’t the booty stay calm?

Because it was on crack.

"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."