Addiction

Addiction Jokes

Mom

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

Lean

Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.

I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.

Crack

Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.

I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!

Drug

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

Video Game

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Gas

What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?

They both get really high.

Murder

You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...

Drug

What do you call a religious drug addict?

A crystal methodist.

Self

I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.

Sex addict

How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?

The psychologist will thank you for coming.