Addiction jokes

Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?

Because he's too high.

Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.

Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.

What are the kids addicted to these days? Juulius Caesar (Juuls).

How do you know the hooker killed herself?

She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.

What does the depressed person say to the happy person?

"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."

you.

Johnny Johnny?

Yes pa pa.

Eating sugar?

Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.

One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."

Congratulations to Avicii for passing his 3-day milestone of sobriety!

Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?

Teens: NO WAY!

Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!

Teens: O OK. 😤

Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?

They'll say "yea."

You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...

If sugar is a drug, does that mean putting it in coffee is overdose?

Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.

I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."

But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.

I finally stopped drinking for good.

Now I purely drink for evil.

What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?

They both get really high.

What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?

I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.