Addiction jokes
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
Pussy = drugs.
Johnny Johnny?
Yes pa pa.
Eating sugar?
Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
We all know what rapper she’s talking about…
I'm gonna make a documentary about meth-addicted prostitutes.
I think I'll call it "Whores on Ice."
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa.
Eating sugar?
Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.
Smoking? Telling lies?
Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
What do you call a crackhead with no crack?
Pointless.
"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.
Congratulations to Avicii for passing his 3-day milestone of sobriety!
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Where do sex addicts go when they need to talk? Hoe-and-Tell.
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Why do people shake cigarette boxes?
To wake up the cancer.
What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
A man walks into an AA meeting and asks for a roadmap.