Addiction jokes
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t do drugs.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.
What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.
Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.
A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"
Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.
Pussy = drugs.
This is how I got [redacted]
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."
The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?
"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol
Why couldn’t the booty stay calm?
Because it was on crack.
you.
What song did Whitney Houston listen to while doing cocaine?
"Run It!" by Chris Brown.