Addiction jokes
What song did Whitney Houston listen to while doing cocaine?
"Run It!" by Chris Brown.
Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!
Why couldn’t the booty stay calm?
Because it was on crack.
If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
I tried to rape Amy Winehouse, but she said, "No! No! No!"
You're an alcoholic!
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.