What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
Why did the Duck go to rehab?
Because he was a Quackhead.
Congratulations to Avicii for passing his 3-day milestone of sobriety!
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."
The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
Why do people shake cigarette boxes?
To wake up the cancer.
you.
If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
