Addiction jokes
You're an alcoholic!
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
What did rapper Pop Smoke get high off of? Cigarettes with Pop and Smoke.
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t do drugs.
Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.
Some guy was mad at his ex-wife! So he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk.
And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.
"Just say no to drugs!"
Well, if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would be a lifetime supply.
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."
A guy walks into an AA meeting and asks for a road map.
A man walks into an AA meeting and asks for a roadmap.
Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?
"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.
When the doctor saw this, he said,
"From Type 2 Diabetes!"
Get it?
I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!