Addiction jokes

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?

They'll say "yea."

I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.

Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.

Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?

1. Listening to your teacher.

2. Not having your phone/game/TV.

3. Not having nicotine.

What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?

I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!

I finally stopped drinking for good.

Now I purely drink for evil.

Johnny, Johnny?

Yes, Papa.

Eating sugar?

Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.

Smoking? Telling lies?

Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.

You're an alcoholic!

We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.

What did rapper Pop Smoke get high off of? Cigarettes with Pop and Smoke.

What’s the difference between drugs and kids?

I don’t do drugs.

Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.

Some guy was mad at his ex-wife! So he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk.

And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.

What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.

What happens when a cow masturbates?

Beef jerky.

"Just say no to drugs!"

Well, if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.

If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would be a lifetime supply.

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.

Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.

Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.