Act Jokes

My Xbox has been acting up lately...

So I painted it black to make it run faster

How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut 🥜

if you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm. If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting. it isn't any of those if it's suicide.

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi

VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month. - LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up. DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.

I've always been suicidal ,some might say why haven't I actually done the act ,I'll just say well I hate myself to much so I though I stay around for the punishment of staying alive

Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back

ur mum so old that when i told her to act her age, she died

What do magicians and prostitutes have in common? Answer: disappearing acts

Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have? Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you. Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you. Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.

Ryan and his mother had cookies than day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan

Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender

I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.

My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class. And then he said, "Hey you donkey." I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you. And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular. Sorry

Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male, is better than the smallest act of kindness

This native American won't stop talking shit about me, so I said "please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors".

why does a straight guy act gay? cause he wants to feel wanted and wants to be bffs with the hotest girls

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose. She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.