Accident jokes
How to fall down the stairs:
Step 1, 2, 3, 6, 10, floor.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
Memes
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe.
What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left there hanging.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.