Accident jokes
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.
Kobe's favorite song was "It's going down for real."
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
Nobody:
Titanic: sYnCccCc
Iceberg: yAaaYeEee
People: yAaanOooO
Ocean: fUuudD
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?
They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.
Did you hear about Hellen Keller falling down the well?
She screamed her little fingers off.
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
A blind man walked into a bar, a table, and a chair.
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?