Accident jokes
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe.
Why is it bad to climb a tree?
You might fall on an orphan! 🫥
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left there hanging.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
How to fall down the stairs:
Step 1, 2, 3, 6, 10, floor.
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.