Accident jokes
I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.
But it would just crash and burn.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
Why is it bad to climb a tree?
You might fall on an orphan! 🫥
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words. "Shit, the ladder is falling!"
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
Why couldn’t Billy go to school today?
The bus driver hit Sally.
I would tell a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
It squirted in my eye, God dammit!
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.