So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.
Accident Jokes
I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
I still remember my grandpa's last words.
"Stop shaking the damn ladder!"
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?
Answer: Hot wheels...
My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, βHello, is this 911?β
The other person, βYes, what is your emergency?β
The blonde answered, βI called to inform you that youβre 910 now.β
I wondered why the baseball was getting closer...
Then it hit me!
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...