Accident jokes

A blonde walks into a bar.

Ouch.

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.

The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"

How do you spell racecar backwards?

racecar

How do you spell racecar sideways?

Paul Walker's death.

Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?

There was nothing left but de-brie.

When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.

What is the world's strongest material?

The tree that Paul Walker hit.

What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?

I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."

My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.

I still remember my grandpa's last words.

"Stop shaking the damn ladder!"

So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.

His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?

He fell for her.

What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?

Answer: Hot wheels...

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.

I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)