Accident jokes
Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.
The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Memes
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.
I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
I still remember my grandpa's last words.
"Stop shaking the damn ladder!"
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?
Answer: Hot wheels...
My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
I wondered why the baseball was getting closer...
Then it hit me!
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!