Accident jokes
What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.
Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
Memes
ohio lol
Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.
The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?
Answer: Hot wheels...
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.
I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."
I still remember my grandpa's last words.
"Stop shaking the damn ladder!"