Accident

Accident jokes

Minefield

How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?

He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.

Drone

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

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  • Rap

    Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?

    Wrapped around that tree.

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  • Family

    What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

    "Family strong, but not that strong."

    Memes

    Baby

    How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?

    Open a pizza shop 🍕

    Kid

    I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.

    Bus

    Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

    Lipstick

    Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.

    She won't talk to me anymore.

    Girl

    I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

    Mansion

    Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?

    Almost took out the whole trailer park.

    Dandruff

    Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?

    Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.

    Jack

    Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.

    Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.

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  • Girl Scout

    What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?

    ...A girl scout that got hit by a car.

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  • Roast

    Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.

    Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.