Accident jokes
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
Why did AlexDaEgg fall down the stairs? Because he is fat.
Q: Why did Sally fall off the building?
A: Her dad pushed her.
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"
I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: A nun falling down the stairs.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!
But he’s all right now.
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
Today my toilet paper ran across the road, but it got stuck in the crack.
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a bus.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.
Looks like McSkillet McKilledIt.
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
My dad died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot I ever knew.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.