Accident jokes

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

What is the difference between women and cars?

At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.

How to fall down the stairs:

Step 1, 2, 3, 6, 10, floor.

What were Paul Walker's last words?

I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"

I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.

I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.

And my driver's license got revoked too.

What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?

They both have torn rotators.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.

Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.

Oh wait, I forgot.

What did the helicopter say to the mountain?

Kobe.

Fall

I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.

My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.

What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?

Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.

My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.

Twin Towers? No plane, plane targets.

What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?

You would be dam unlucky.

Presidents are normal, physically.

Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.

Why is it bad to climb a tree?

You might fall on an orphan! 🫥