Accident jokes

My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.

Twin Towers? No plane, plane targets.

What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?

You would be dam unlucky.

Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?

Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)

My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.

Fall

I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.

And my driver's license got revoked too.

Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.

Oh wait, I forgot.

I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.

Why is it bad to climb a tree?

You might fall on an orphan! 🫥

I will never forget my grandfather's last words:

"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"

What did the helicopter say to the mountain?

Kobe.

What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left there hanging.

Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

My great grandfather died in 9/11.

He was such a good pilot.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he got hit by a car.

What is the difference between women and cars?

At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.