Accident jokes
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."
How to fall down the stairs:
Step 1, 2, 3, 6, 10, floor.
Paul Walker died Fast and Furious.
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
Fall
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
Why is it bad to climb a tree?
You might fall on an orphan! 🫥
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.