Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left there hanging.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
How to fall down the stairs:
Step 1, 2, 3, 6, 10, floor.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
Fall
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
Twin Towers? No plane, plane targets.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
Why is it bad to climb a tree?
You might fall on an orphan! 🫥
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
