Accident jokes
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Twin Towers? No plane, plane targets.
Today my toilet paper ran across the road, but it got stuck in the crack.
I like the iceberg... my favorite character was the iceberg!
So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.
The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson, she kicked herself in the testicles.
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.