Accident jokes
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
Why did Billy fall off his bike?
Because his dad threw a chair at him.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."
What is yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
Go Kermit, toaster bath.
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a table, and chairs.
The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!
Ur mom.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
Two men walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would've seen it.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?
"Everywhere."
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.