I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately...”
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police. She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?” The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?” The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
When i was going downstairs Sum Ting Wong fell and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened
Tony's wife had a divorce with Tony, she says she wants to be an independent woman
Day's later Tony's wife had an accident, guess who's crawling back for help 💀
i didnt mean to call a afghanistan Hotline, i told them i was Depressed then they asked if i know how to drive a truck idk how that has anything to do with it
I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident" (I gotta go pay him out of jail)
So I left my mom with my baby and I was terrified when I came back in the wheelchair was in the water
I got suspended at school today, I lit a kids wheelchair on fire and called him hot wheels
Rose are red. Violet's are red. My parents bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died.hahahahah
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen. And I could just have his motorcycle.
This 15 year old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed unfortunately it killed her dad because it fell off the wall
(Do you get the joke)
(Her dad was on her and it fell and killed him)
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp of a roof
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says"I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?" Man,"Sorry i thought it was the start of Eastenders"
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says "Sorry, It was an axe-cident!"
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter it was pretty grate.
I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.
My nan broke her toe by a brick today, last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire . Does that now mean I have to toe her back to the doctors.
