Accident jokes
My dad died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot I ever knew.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Last night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.