Accident jokes
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Coz she had no arms, bants!
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
Because he wasn’t wearing his seat belt.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"
Why is Paul Walker a walker?
To let people know he isn't a driver.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
Hey, that tree's growing!
I kicked my leg into my dad's balls in 1999.
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
What time is it when you walk walk? Time to trip and fall!
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
I remember my son's last words: "I stubbed my toe!"
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream?
He was hit by an ice cream truck.
Q: Why did the blind man fall into the well?
A: Because he couldn't see that well.
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.