Accident jokes
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!
Paul Walker died Fast and Furious.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
Why was Aaron's mum sad? The bus missed Aaron.
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
I like the iceberg... my favorite character was the iceberg!
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!