Accident jokes
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
Why did Sally fall dead?
Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
saddest youtube comment :(
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
"I created the Human Torch."
I wondered why the baseball was getting closer...
Then it hit me!
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
Stephen Hawking died because he did a wheelie and unplugged his charger.
He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!
Q: What happens when an Asian with an erection walks into a wall?
A: He breaks his nose.
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!
Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
Hey, that tree's growing!
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"
I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.
My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.