Accident jokes
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
Stephen Hawking died because he got hit by a RAM.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
I hit my friend.
He's dead now.
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.
Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
Yo mama so fat, She the iceberg.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
Q: Why did Sally fall off the building?
A: Her dad pushed her.