ur mom
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
How do you get my neighbor out of their tree?
You untie the rope.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
