Accident jokes
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
Why did James fall off the swing?
He had no arms.
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
What's small, has no dad, and looks like Bugs Bunny?
Ben after he trips over the giant curb!
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.
Kids?
A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."
When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
Why was Aaron's mum sad? The bus missed Aaron.