Accident jokes
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
Stephen Hawking died because he got hit by a RAM.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
I hit my friend.
He's dead now.
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.
Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
Yo mama so fat, She the iceberg.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
Q: Why did Sally fall off the building?
A: Her dad pushed her.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.
Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.
Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!
Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.
Teacher: What was that?
Alex: Flew the plane.
I wondered why the baseball was getting closer...
Then it hit me!