Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by bus
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Humpty Dumpty felled off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call. He got hurt in a egg-cident & it never got eggs-elent. When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower. It happened too fast, he watched the very last. Next he died, eaten all fried.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
why were you born? because I asked out your mom on accident
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital, apparently the doctor said to the nurse you can discharge Mr Hawking now, so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
Stephen Hawkins died crossing the road, he was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
Did you hear how Steven Hawkins Died? There was a mix up and he was dropped at pc world instead of A&E!
Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
Why did sally run into a tree? She is blind
I accidentally walked on the lego batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back.
I almost got run over by a car For the rest of the day I was Taking the backseat as I was wheely Tried
What did the car say when it crashed? Thats Wheely unfortunate.
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter it was pretty grate.
Once upon a time... Chuck Norris steped on a Lego. R.I.P the Lego piece.
Q: why did sally survive the car accident A: she hit an ambulance
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door....
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He just couldn't see that well.
