Accident jokes
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.
But it would just crash and burn.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?
He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"
When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂
Q: When does a pentagon have four sides?
A: When it's intersected by a plane!
What is black and at the top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.