Accident jokes
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
billie: hi.
me: You wanna hear a story?
billie: Yes, sure.
me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
Ur mom.
Where did Sally go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Why did the blind man fall down a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"