Accident jokes
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
billie: hi.
me: You wanna hear a story?
billie: Yes, sure.
me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
Ur mom.
Where did Sally go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"