Worst Jokes Ever
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf...s ain't gonna believe this sh.."
That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.
So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.
After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."
So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.
Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?
Half of the class: *raises hand*
Teacher: ...
The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
Why did the scientist want to take off his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win the no-bell prize.