Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
If Italy attacked France from the rear, would Greece help?
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.
How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
Why did the scientist want to take off his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win the no-bell prize.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.