Worst Jokes Ever
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see.
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back till I realized it is a family business.
when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.
Your dad never needed a van for you.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
Roses are red.
Roses are red.
Roses are red.
I smell burnt toast.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
I hate myself.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
What's green and is dangerous?
Kermit with a flip knife.