Worst Jokes Ever
When Pope Pius IX died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, and St. Peter opened it: "Who are you? What do you want?”
"I am Pope Pius. I want to come to Heaven.”
“Where do you come from?"
"Rome."
“What do you mean? Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
“I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!”
To make sure not to erroneously deny access to an authorized person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God, and asks: "Hello, Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"What do you mean: Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
"No, sorry, I don’t know him.”
Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello, Junior, here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, never heard of him.”
Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello, Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?"
"What does he mean, Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"He says Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while, he continues: "Wait, wait, tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
What’s a rapper’s favorite MUSICAL NOTE?
G major.
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?
A cypher circle.
What do you call an apartment full of black people?
A CON-dominium.
What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?
Punchlines.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.