Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?

Suicide Boomer.

A professor was talking about the American dream. Then, he asked the German exchange student if there was a German dream, to which the student replies, "We did, but no one liked it."

When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.

Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?

So you could read her lips.

What did the angry cow say to its enemy?

"We have beef!"

What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf...s ain't gonna believe this sh.."

That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.

So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.

After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."

So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."

Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.

You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.

Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.

What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back.

To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.

I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.

Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?

Half of the class: *raises hand*

Teacher: ...

The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*

What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?

One has water; the other one doesn’t.

What's white and bloody?

Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.

You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.