Hey, wanna hear a joke?
My life :(
Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.
Stressed Out - By - Twenty One Pilots and watersharky Music Productions - I wish I found some better sounds No one's ever heard. I wish I had a better voice That sang some better words. I wish I found some chords In an order that is new. I wish I didn't have to rhyme Every time I sang.
I was told when I get older All my fears would shrink. But now I'm insecure And I care what people think. My name's Blurryface and I care what you think. My name's Blurryface and I care what you think.
Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out We're stressed out
Sometimes a certain smell will Take me back to when I was young How come I'm never able to identify Where it's coming from? I'd make a candle out of it If I ever found it Try to sell it, never sell out of it I'd probably only sell one. It'd be to my brother, cause we have the same nose Same clothes, home grown The stone's throw from a creek we used to roam But it would remind us of when Nothing really mattered Out of student loans and tree house homes We all would take the latter My name's Blurryface and I care what you think My name's Blurryface and I care what you think
Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out
Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship and then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face singing "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship And then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face singing "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah
Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out
We used to play pretend, used to play pretend, money We used to play pretend, wake up you need the money Used to play pretend, used to play pretend, money We used to play pretend, wake up you need the money Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship And then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face saying "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
Are you a horse, because I want to ride you?
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
Gemini, it is you who is trying to start such a big mess for no reason. I never said it had a charm or a lead roll. I just want love and spread kindness. PS: I use my brain. I use it all the time, just for your information. I just hope we can be friends.
Best, Gwen
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
Your mum's so fat, she's the iceberg that sunk the Titanic!
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
What did Hitler say to the sheep, "Baaarrrrrrr!" Hahaha, get it, sister? Am I rightttt?
What's black, white, and red all over? The interracial abortion.
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
Your forehead is so big, it looks like I did a drag back on FIFA.
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My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?
My sister wearing all the world's makeup.
Sister: Just a little.
Yo mamma is so ugly, she made blind kids cry.
